When Insecurity Swept Me Away

In a state of thinking too much again. Dang it! I cant help myself from being a pessimist. I hate myself for being moody and down or going through some emotional changes . I guess thats why i blog soo frequently. I cant keep my emotions in check, literally. I keep telling myself im growing older and older,day by day.I need to be independent, not letting other people to treat me as a small girl. Time is tickling away, the Earth is revolving in every Milli second, yet i couldnt keep the pace or just be another joyful person and enjoy every moment in life. Faking a smile. Trying to hold back tears when things turned into a catastrophe and thats when i feel myself drowning into a deep isolated ocean where i barely gasping for air. I hate myself for being disorganized, lazybutt and shit procrastinator. gahh! And being soo unproductive lately. I just recall insecurity coz it came down like a huge wave and swept me away whenever im alone.