i hate myself

dang!! can u stop saying that im skinny? grrrrr i know ure being honest but for goddamn sake i understand myself wayyy better than u!! i know im being skinny and looks unhealthy but for sure thats not what i want to be coz im born to be this way u moron!! arghh i eat like normal people eat and of coz i live like normal people live. i dont drink, smoke or clubbing and im underweight with flat-chested. dear god, can u stop treating me like that? CNY is just around the corner and yet there's the same damn problem i face.CLOTHES CHOOSE ME instead of me choose nice nice clothes to fit my XS size. shytee!! my family keep saying im going to be fat when im fully grown up but Dear god,im already 19. am i still growing up?only god knows sigh.

today, i almost did nothing except whining about my period pain. and again god ar? y u did this to me? y u made me suffer almost every month? i need to study ler. y im born to be this WEAK? why? why? sigh i hate myself

I shouldnt blog at this hour

just a short post =(

This is what triggers my mind to blog, raging hormones. Pimples on my forehead, constantly feel that everything is overloaded on my timetable. 3 tests next week: ESAP, Moral and General Psychology. and OSPE test for Genetics is tomorrow fml and i should be studying at this hour. =/ well, i got a horrible mood swing. all right its all my fault and i admit it. i missed meteor rain last night, throwing my temper on him for not concentrating on me when i needed him. i know. i should tolerate more,giving more space as he needs to focus on study too. i know. he's a good boyfie and changed alot better since after our big fight lol.im too stubborn to change my attitude towards him.im being bossy, and needs him to accompany me all the time.i'll try to be more tolerant and forgiving =X

yesterday, i sat for OSPE Basic Chem. it turned out to be awful. i cant finish answering questions, just not enough time and felt so much guilt for that. and i realized speed is what degree students need during exam,there's no time for us to think and answer. so bye-bye to 20% of Basic Chem =/ BIODIVERSITY! GODAMNIT! I hate that gay lecturer. setting stupid papers for CA and OSPE and expect us to know how to answer them! its impossible. i dared not to look at my CA marks today as i got only 26/40 for objective questions after CA discussion. i did a terrible job for OSPE. same case as in Basic Chem OSPE. bye bye 20% of the Biodiversity. For Molecular Bio, i scored 79% and Genetics was 85%. Sooo, wish me luck for last OSPE tomorrow and next week's tests =))))))))))